How well do you listen?
If you’re like most modern-day workers, you’re probably so torn between emails, smart phones, task lists, and deadlines that your human-listening skills aren’t what they should be. Think about the last conversation you had with a coworker. How much of that conversation do you remember? 50%? 20%?
Now put yourself in the speaker’s shoes. If you’re sharing with your boss, and your boss only remembers 20% of what you shared, then why even bother sharing at all?
At Ziksana, we believe that successful leaders move beyond listening to hear and instead build the skill of listening to appreciate. We call this Appreciative Listening. The goal of Appreciative Listening is to make the speaker feel valued, and truly understood without judgment. By combining active listening with positive psychology, our Appreciative Listening framework makes it simple and even fun to listen to those who we agree AND may disagree with.
What is Appreciative Listening?
Appreciative Listening is a type of listening where the speaker becomes the most important person in the room. All too often, when someone is speaking, the person or people listening are focused on themselves. Instead of focusing on what the speaker is saying, they begin mentally formulating their opinion and waiting for their turn to reply. With Appreciative Listening, the focus is entirely on the speaker. Instead of waiting for their turn to reply, the listener(s) put aside their perspective, opinions, and ideas for the purpose of fully understanding and appreciating what the speaker is saying. With this type of listening amongst team members, collaboration, connection, and motivation flourish.
We know that team members who feel valued or appreciated have more long term motivation to contribute, are better at building trust in the workplace, and are more willing to share ideas. Motivation, trust, communication – these are key ingredients of a team that is able to innovate and effectively leverage creative problem solving. Appreciative Listening is one skill we believe every leader needs to learn, which is why we include it throughout our leadership programs.
In order to guide leaders through the listening process, we employ our signature PLAY model of Appreciative Listening:
- P = Present. Are you present for the listener? Stop what you are doing, make eye contact, and check your body language. Give the speaker your undivided attention. At the same time, suspend judgement- don’t assume you know what the person is about to say.
- L = Look & Learn. Maintain eye contact and open body language. Don’t interrupt the speaker.
- A = Accept. Accept what the speaker is saying using affirmative language like, “Tell me more,” and, “That’s helpful information.” Say “yes and” to their ideas, build off of their information, and be sure to appreciate more than criticize.
- Y = Yield. Yield is the speaker’s level of confidence in the interaction and is a measure of success for the ability to listen appreciatively. We divide Yield into three levels:
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- Level 1: The speaker feels ignored, unvalued, and is unlikely to share again.
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- Level 2: The speaker feels heard, and that some of their ideas are being accepted and incorporated.
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- Level 3: The speaker not only feels heard, but also feels valued.
By moving through the steps of P, L, and A in order to achieve a Level 3 of Yield, a leader can create an environment where team members feel encouraged and valued in their roles, ensuring new ideas and information sharing.
Appreciative Listening Examples
We are currently facing a massive wave of uncertainty that has affected every aspect of our lives. Over the past few weeks, there have been many rapid changes that have drastically affected both our personal and professional lives. Many organizations are operating remotely for the first time, challenging leaders to find new ways to foster effective communication and collaboration in their teams.
Successful collaboration requires a connection among team members. It requires communication that leaves people feeling energized, motivated, and appreciated. Without physical proximity and daily face-to-face interactions, feeling connected and valued at work is harder than ever. In these uncertain, rapidly changing times, teams, leaders and organizations who practice this skill will continue to foster truly collaborative environments where people stay connected and engaged.
How to Use in Appreciative Listening in Times of Uncertainty
In times of ambiguity and uncertainty, people may feel distracted, unsure and anxious. Working collaboratively may become difficult as people push their own ideas and perspectives to create more control and safety for themselves. When things are uncertain, it can be hard to be open to other people’s ideas, especially when they have an impact on everyone involved. Practicing appreciative listening can encourage people to come together and find collaborative solutions rather than disagreeing or discounting others.
Practicing the following two principles of AP can help individuals, teams, and organizations thrive in ambiguity.
Being Fully Present
Appreciative Listening requires the listener to be fully present. In order to prioritize the speaker, ensure that your full focus can be on them. If you are meeting virtually, close all browser windows and set boundaries with roommates and family members to limit interruptions. Use nonverbal cues to show that you are fully invested in what the person is saying: make eye contact, nod your head, and position your body towards them. As a listener, being fully present also requires that you put aside your assumptions or judgments about what the person is saying. Instead of being tuned in to your own inner dialogue, listen to the other person with an open mind. When you are fully present for what the other person is saying, they will feel connected, valued, and more willing to share their ideas.
Practice Saying “Yes…And!”
In improvisational theatre, saying “yes…and!” is arguably the most important rule to follow when building collaborative scenes. All too often, people share their perspectives and ideas at work only to be told why they are incorrect or why their ideas won’t work. This type of response is dismissive and discourages people from sharing their ideas in the future. In times of uncertainty, innovative ideas are necessary. When collaborating with others, practice saying “Yes!” to their ideas and be open to trying them. Whenever possible, build directly on the ideas of others rather than immediately pitching a brand-new idea. People are more motivated and invested when they all have a say, leading to truly collaborative efforts.
Learn Appreciative Listening with Ziksana!
In times of ambiguity, the skill of Appreciative Listening becomes even more essential to the success of individuals, leaders, teams, and organizations. Contact us today to discover how we can help you and your team with appreciative listening, and make developing this skill a key component of your organization’s executive coaching and leadership development training plans
